Does Your Relationship Even Exist? This New TikTok Dating Trend Puts Your Romantic Connections To The Test
As if we don’t have other dating terms or trends to concern ourselves with, here comes another one, thanks to TikTok, slowly making its way into the dating lexicon and forcing us to question our interpersonal relationships, especially our romantic partnerships. The newest term, delusionship, is quickly gaining traction on the popular social media platform with 17.7M views in counting.
On TikTok, you’ll find creators reflecting on their love lives and questioning why they are overthinking, questioning, or crying over a person or situationship that isn’t real. We’ve all been there before – where we’ve fantasized about our desired partner but slowly concluded that the likelihood of the partnership working out was slim to none or that the other person didn’t even know that there was interest romantically.
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It’s easy to land here, as today’s dating landscape is filled with murky waters, including a lack of communication and commitment, minimal courting efforts, and overall apathy to getting to know new people. While we can blame external factors like COVID-19 and the rise of online dating apps, this trend highlights the severe effects of being disconnected from ourselves and others.
Suppose you’ve been daydreaming or spending too much time thinking about a potential partner that doesn’t know you exist instead of prioritizing other viable options. In that case, you may be experiencing this new TikTok trend, delusionship.
So what exactly is a delusionship?
While the term is new and evolving every day, people are using it on TikTok to describe themselves, reflect on an imaginary relationship, discuss their crush, or go into the extreme of things where their desired partner isn’t showing much interest but has convinced themselves they’re in a whirlwind romance, complete with a wedding date and future planning. Essentially, a delusionship is a one-sided relationship. Unlike a real relationship, where the effort (emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual) is there, a delusionship is rooted and sustained by a fantasy of what it may be like to be with someone, including a lingering ex, new crush, or someone who ghosted you.
How can you tell if you’re in a delusionship?
You can start by reflecting on your behavior and asking yourself hard questions like, “Do I fantasize about someone, even though I know we aren’t together?” or “Have I planned for the future with someone, although we aren’t in committed relationship or barely know I exist?” Even though these initial reflective questions may be difficult to ask yourself, it’s essential to reflect on the answers to remain grounded in reality and to limit any future infatuations with people you aren’t truly connected to.
How to exit a delusionship?
While it may be entertaining or funny to view the profoundly personal and vulnerable videos highlighting folks’ accounts of unrequited crushes, and would-be trysts, delusions can be painful and scary, as people believe they are connected to people they hardly even know. A solution to this may be to connect more with yourself and understand your emotional and spiritual needs and how to fulfill them. If you’re stuck in a delusionship, you may need authentic affection, romance, and connection from people you know first.
Additionally, you may be closed off from seeking emotional connection as you try to protect yourself from the potential vulnerability of relationships. Some things that may help you pull yourself off of the delusionship merry-go-round might be spending less time on social media, re-reading old text messages, and fantasizing in your head. Instead, try going out into the real world to make new connections or reconnect with the consistent people in your life who’s been there for you.
Try to stop idealizing someone and understand the reality of the situation to move forward healthily.
